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So I just found out that the Fantasybits mailing list still exists. I used to be on that list, waaaaay back when it started. It was kind of cool - back then (1999, for all you youngsters out there) it was one of the first drabble mailing lists/communities for aspiring fantasy writers.
So, in honor of that mailing list, I give you my entry on the topic of man-eating goldfish.
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Gene splicing is fun. Really.
I mean, cloning is pretty nice. You can go and make as many cute little
beagle puppies as you like, name them, play with them, try to teach them
tricks. And if they won´t learn the tricks ´cause they´re to dumb or if you
get bored with them, you just kill them. Oh come on, they´re just clones,
Not like they were REAL doggies.
But as I was saying, gene splicing is better. Whole new worlds open up to
you.
I started off with microbes. Splicing and mixing harmless coli bacteria with
ebola virus and then you mix them into your little brother´s yoghurt. I can
tell you, that was really funny, the way he was crumpled up on the floor and
mum had to take him to the county hospital. It´s pretty far away, so he died
during the drive. But no need to cry here, he was a jerk and besides, I´ve
already cloned another one. With more brains.
Then I did plants. I took a beet from our garden and crossed it with a
pinapple. That was the first time beet roots for dinner was cool.
But plants are boring, so I started doing animals some days ago. Now I got a
rabbit with teeth like a baboon. And I discovered something way cool in the
school library. In this book about microbiology, they said how you maybe
could increase the size of an amoeba so it´s about as big as a blanket. That
ought to work with bigger animals. So today, I´m going to splice some
goldfish genes with that of a pitbull terrier and make him a lot larger.
Man-eating goldfish. Cool, huh? I think I gotta clone another little
brother... or maybe two!
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And I find it quite amusing that my signature back then was "You're just jealous because the little voices only talk to me!". I don't think Muse-man Malak was already 'round back then.
So, in honor of that mailing list, I give you my entry on the topic of man-eating goldfish.
---------------
Gene splicing is fun. Really.
I mean, cloning is pretty nice. You can go and make as many cute little
beagle puppies as you like, name them, play with them, try to teach them
tricks. And if they won´t learn the tricks ´cause they´re to dumb or if you
get bored with them, you just kill them. Oh come on, they´re just clones,
Not like they were REAL doggies.
But as I was saying, gene splicing is better. Whole new worlds open up to
you.
I started off with microbes. Splicing and mixing harmless coli bacteria with
ebola virus and then you mix them into your little brother´s yoghurt. I can
tell you, that was really funny, the way he was crumpled up on the floor and
mum had to take him to the county hospital. It´s pretty far away, so he died
during the drive. But no need to cry here, he was a jerk and besides, I´ve
already cloned another one. With more brains.
Then I did plants. I took a beet from our garden and crossed it with a
pinapple. That was the first time beet roots for dinner was cool.
But plants are boring, so I started doing animals some days ago. Now I got a
rabbit with teeth like a baboon. And I discovered something way cool in the
school library. In this book about microbiology, they said how you maybe
could increase the size of an amoeba so it´s about as big as a blanket. That
ought to work with bigger animals. So today, I´m going to splice some
goldfish genes with that of a pitbull terrier and make him a lot larger.
Man-eating goldfish. Cool, huh? I think I gotta clone another little
brother... or maybe two!
------------
And I find it quite amusing that my signature back then was "You're just jealous because the little voices only talk to me!". I don't think Muse-man Malak was already 'round back then.
